i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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