I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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