My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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