Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
