And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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