he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
