im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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