I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
