his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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