I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
