The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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