She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
