Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
