Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's like God shit irony all over that family
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
