The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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