I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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