How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How does one acquire holy water?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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