its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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