I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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