grandma shit on top of the toilet
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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