I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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