Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sorry my hands just texted you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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