Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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