Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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