that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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