God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
