Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
should my penis look like a turkey
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
