marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
