Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
