Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
