when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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