TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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