Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
