Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
