I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
