Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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