I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
