operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
