he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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