I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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