could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
