Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize