You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
