Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
