Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
