I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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