it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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