ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
