That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
