I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
