No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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