Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
