Don't make out with my wife yet
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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