I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
