we have officially lost it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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