All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
