There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
