You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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